The Foundations of Your Life

This is an open letter to our teenage grandchildren - and those growing up to their teenage years.  It is even intended for our grown children.

High school (not after high school) is where the foundation of your life is laid.  High school is where you begin to make your own decisions about habits and friends.  Parents can try ("I don't want you hanging around that person again."), but ultimately the decision will be yours.

Bad habits (not studying, not doing your homework, being attracted to discouraging friends, drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, ALL bad choices) are the cracks in the foundation of your life that can prevent you from seeing if a frog is a prince or the prince is a frog.

Education is MUCH more important than time with friends.  (Who knew when I was in Civics class in high school that one day I would become a mayor, when the ONLY thing in life I wanted to be was a homemaker and mother??)

Time with friends is EXTREMELY important, though, because it can / could / might / maybe teach you how to tell who the frogs are and who the princes are, which princesses are really going to become the mill stones around your neck.  High school is the time to PAY ATTENTION to EVERYTHING - not just the opposite sex, sports, Facebook, and video games.  (Who knew in high school, when I was that mousy little 5'2, 100 pound wimp, that I would be nominated to the Texas Women's Hall of Fame by a State senator - when all I wanted to be was a homemaker and mother??)

Speaking of Facebook... Who knew it would become a part of your college admissions test???  One doesn't just write a check or get a scholarship, and go to college.  There is this pesky thing called a College Admissions Board.  Yes, siree!  There's a bunch of folks that look at the foundation of life that you laid in high school and decide that you DESERVE a seat in some professor's class - or not.  They open your high school records (and that includes social media of all kinds) and count every detention, every sick day, every smart--- remark on line, along with your transcript and SAT's.

One might think a foundation with cracks could be repaired, but it never works.  (Ask one of our sons who bought a home with foundation problems.  Even though the deed to the property came with lifetime coverage on the foundation, every time it had to be fixed furniture had to be moved, carpet had to be pulled up, the concrete had to be jack-hammered out, dirt had to be hand-shoveled and wheel-barrowed out...  It delayed and disrupted his life and the life of his entire family time and time again - and can never, ever be fully repaired.)

So, you're a teenager, and you are not about to ask an adult of any sort about these things because, as I said before, the decision is ultimately yours.  Who do you ask?  Good question!  I'm glad you asked!

Guess what.  You will be asking those questions for the rest of your life.  Should I make this person my very best friend, should I take these courses, should I take this job, should I marry this person, should I buy or rent, is now the time to have a family....  Geez, Louise, who DO I ask?

Hmmm.  I don't know.  Who is the wisest entity of all eternity?  (It ain't yo' momma or daddy, school teacher, counselor or principal - we've all made our mistakes.)  I believe it's God, the Father.  By building a foundation of Biblical knowledge (and I don't just mean cherry-picked memory verses), I believe that I have absorbed some wisdom that prevents me from falling into at least a few of the potholes of life.

I have learned that there is comfort in the Word when I DO come crashing down.  I've learned that I can tell Him things, and that those confidences WON'T end up on Facebook or YouTube somewhere down the road!  I can share things with Him that would shame my momma and daddy, but, because I took it to God, they don't have to deal with the shame.  I would HIGHLY recommend that you make God THE basic ingredient in the foundation of your life.

I have also learned that one can't just pick up the Bible, read it cover to cover, and truly understand what is in there.  It was written during a different culture.  The basic truths are the same then and now, though.  The Good News is the same.

There is a really cool Bible called "The Life and Times Historical Reference Bible."  No matter where you are in your Christian walk, I highly recommend getting it.  It is full of explanatory "panels," and it is unique in that it is arranged chronologically.  For instance, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in the New Testament tell of the conception, birth, life and death of Jesus, each through the eyes of the individual authors.  The Life and Times Bible shuffles all of the verses in those books into chronological order.  Pretty nifty.

However, no matter how your Bible is written or how often you read and memorize it, there is nothing like going to a Sunday School class to learn it.


How do I know these things?

1.  Common sense
2.  Been there, done that
3.  I formed no bad habits in high school, but married the "wrong" man.  I loved him, but he wasn't one you could build a life on:  he DID have some bad habits.
4.  I was a virgin when I married.  I felt like I didn't have a lot to give, but I had one thing absolutely no one else had - me.  I guarded that jealously.  I dated.  I had a good time.  But when all was said and done, I was a virgin at my wedding.  No regrets about that.  One of the better decisions of my whole life.
5.  I ultimately married a man who's foundation was built on God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
6.  I discovered that if your spouse has given his life to the Lord, you can submit to that spouse, and life will be good for everyone.  We all have to submit to some one or some thing a zillion times a day:  government, school, jobs, parents, siblings, friends - even enemies - but a spouse should not be someone that you trade in, so pick a good one, and a Godly one.  Remember, "until death do we part" means something.  Yes, you can change spouses, but, trust me, there is a huge cost (and I don't mean divorce lawyers.)  You will pay a part of the very essence of your being for wrong decisions.

So, lay up for yourself a good foundation, and maintain that foundation and later additions with a dedication to God.  From that will flow whatever is good and right.  Submit first to God and then to your spouse and then to your family.  Our prayers are with you always.